Most of us have tried to put on a pair of trousers after gaining a few extra pounds, and even though they feel tight, we try to get them on, even if we have to force them.
The same goes for a pair of shoes, the most beautiful we have ever seen, that go with that dress we love so much or are just right for an important outing. We put them on, even if we have to force our feet into them, and by the time we get home, our feet are killing us.
The same thing happens with people. When you meet someone and something makes you uncomfortable, though you cannot yet say what, but you decide to be with them because of your friends, their financial standing, or what people might say, you are forcing that relationship. Sooner or later it will rub you raw, just like those shoes you wore because they looked good, rather than because they fit you well.
When you are arguing with a friend or coworker who thinks differently and you try to impose your ideas just to be right, you are forcing things too. You are trying to force your idea into a mind that is not yet ready to be reshaped.
With the trousers that feel tight, forcing them on will not improve the situation; a little patience, adjusting your diet, and improving your eating habits will. Not forcing yourself into them and spending the whole day unable to breathe properly.
Going up a size in those shoes will not take away their splendor. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
It is the same with people: by listening to them and to yourself, you will realize that they are unable to see your perspective. They are not ready yet; they do not know what you know, they have not been through what you have been through, and even if they have the same level of education as you, they have not learned what you have learned. Their minds are not ready yet; they are closed, and forcing them will only meet with resistance. It is as if you were trying to pick fruit from a tree before it was ripe. Everything has its own process.
Forcing things or situations does not bring about lasting positive change. It only brings the temporary satisfaction of having got your own way and feeds your ego. The consequences will be just around the corner, leaving you to taste the bitterness of having harvested the fruit at the wrong time.
If you want to bring about lasting positive change in a situation, listen, smile, share your view, smile again, breathe, and wait a few moments. Is no one receptive? Step away. Be patient; they will come back to you when they are ready. Soon it will be their turn to see what you see. The cycle will repeat, and they will be the ones who must learn to stop forcing things.
“Patience has more power than force.”
Plutarch