I used to think that if you did not hurt anyone, no one would hurt you. That if you helped someone, that person or someone else would return the favor at some point in your life. That if you did good, everyone would treat you well. I held on to that idea until just a couple of years ago—not only in childhood. It was only very recently that I realized how utopian my thinking was.
There is a particular kind of person I call detractors at heart, people who make a profession of discontent. You find them where you least expect them. Those furthest removed from your circle of acquaintances are the ones who will try to steal your belongings. A thief you do not know, whom you have never harmed or even seen before, will try to rob you because they want something you have and they do not.
People of this same kind—thieves not of material things but of energy, thieves of dreams—are everywhere. Some disguise themselves as relatives, friends, or coworkers. Others, with bigger egos, as bosses. And others will show you so much affection that they will even sleep beside you. They will treat you in ways you know you do not deserve, and you will still wonder what you did wrong and why you are being treated that way.
Have you ever heard that we see a reflection of ourselves in others? We see and criticize in others what we dislike about ourselves. The person who believes they see flaws in you is seeing everything they lack, and they cannot help it. They will accuse you, underestimate you, humiliate you, and feel uncomfortable in your presence, even as they boast of being at the peak of their life or career. That professional detractor will not rest until they have stolen your self-esteem, until they see you intimidated, insecure, doubting your abilities. They will feel satisfied when they see you forgetting your true worth.
Stay alert. You do not need people like that in your life. Step away from them. Set your boundaries. Keep those who enrich your life, and let go of everything that does not serve you. The light you shine will always bother them because it leaves them exposed, revealing all their emotional and professional shortcomings. To them, you are a threat—not because you have done anything against them. What bothers them is that they cannot be like you.
“The hardest thing is to know ourselves; the easiest, to speak ill of others.”
Epictetus