Sometimes we listen to learn. Sometimes we only listen to reply. Sometimes we listen in fragments; sometimes we only hear without listening. What if we began practising active listening with ourselves? What if we listened without judging? What if we listened with empathy? What if we listened to understand ourselves and, in doing so, understand others? What if we listened to OURSELVES?
The practice of listening begins with ourselves. Every morning when you wake up, when you wash your face, what do you think as you look in the mirror? Nothing at all? You probably do think something, but you don’t listen to yourself. When you are in the shower, what do you say to yourself? Don’t you hear anything? Yes, you hear the water falling or your voice singing; but what do you listen to? If you aren’t listening to anything, it is probably because you only hear and don’t listen to yourself. If you believe that the concentration needed to listen to yourself can only be achieved while sitting in the lotus position, then you aren’t listening to yourself. And do you think that, if we cannot listen to ourselves, we will be able to listen to others? It is unlikely.
In music, timing is as important as the notes, but the silences are more important still. They are the basis of symphony, of harmony. The wisdom of life is concentrated in the silences, because that is where you can listen to yourself, where you can listen to someone else, where you can listen to your heart, where you can listen with love.
Many of us think we are very good at giving advice but not at taking it. Why? Because we don’t listen to ourselves. Let us practise active listening, let us practise empathy, let us practise compassion. Let us begin with ourselves. We can only give what fills our hearts. But how do we know what we are filling our hearts with? We return to the beginning: listen to the silences.
Listen to your notes, listen to your timing, but above all else, listen to your silences.
“Silence is the element in which all great things take shape.”
Thomas Carlyle